How can I heal after a break-up with a great guy (Christian perspective)?
Question by acissej: How can I heal after a break-up with a great guy (Christian perspective)?
I have been in an on and off relationship with a great guy for the past five years. He is intelligent, sweet, hard-working, affectionate, caring, and very helpful. You might be thinking why in the world did you break up with this guy and to be honest I wonder about the same thing every second. However, the thing that he does not have is initiative. I just feel like I have to tell him where to go, what to do, what to help me with, what to do next in life, etc. He does all this things if I tell him to, but I don’t want to be pushing him every second. I feel exhausted all the time and I feel like he does this things because he loves me and not because he wants to. I also think that if I have to tell him to do all these things I might as well do them myself or be alone for that matter.
For all this time we have been dating he has talked to me about all these wonderful plans and dreams that he wants to accomplish but so far he hasn’t done any of them. He says that if I would be more expressive of my love (and I don’t mean physically) he would be able to do all this things I want of him, but since I need to see all those things to feel loved (all the things he is great at + goals and doing things to accomplish them) I always been kind of hesitant about actually marrying him. I need that because I am a very service oriented person and I am always thinking where I can help in Church and my community and what plans God has for me in this area. I am always involved in some sort of community service or church service and I feel I need a guy that likes to do all these things as well. Not to be busy all the time, but to serve as God called us to serve. Am I doing something wrong here? Am I being immature? I have not been on many relationships myself. Should I get back with him? This is the reason why we have been dating on and off for all this time and because this has always been a long distance relationship.
Another factor is that I become a Christian during the time we have been together. He did too after a long wait from me, but we are in different levels of commitment to Christ and that also makes me feel like I am the one leading the relationship and he follows. As I understand it (correct me if I am wrong) the guy is the one who is supposed to lead the relationship, not the girl. I don’t want to be with a guy who only wants his way, but I don’t want a guy that only does what I tell him to do either.
Please help! As you can see, I need answers from a Christian perspective. And if you are a single Christian guy that meets the qualities I am looking for please contact me. I at least need to know that these guys still exist.
Best answer:
Answer by MOs fishin
Life is complicated like that, and even when we think it might be God’s plan, even his plans can change, later in life you will see. Keep your faith and things always work out for the best. But you are right a guy is suppose to lead in the relationship.
Good Luck and God Bless
MO
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